Memoirs of a suicidal kandi kid

disaster12e @ 2008-07-20T09:23:00

2008-06-03T13:26:35Z

Yea

2008-06-03T13:05:10Z

The other day me and Kyle went to the zoo. I shall post pics when I get
the time to upload them. Cuz I finally have free file space on this piece
of shit laptop and can upload things again! (It crashed awhile ago due to
overloading). So hooray!

Umm umm not much else to write. I start work on the 9th, and I have to
schedule my hours tomorrow. Its about time! I really really need hours.
So yay! And thats pretty much it.

disaster12e @ 2008-03-23T12:56:00

2008-03-23T16:59:43Z

Happy Easter Everyone!

disaster12e @ 2008-03-19T10:27:00

2008-03-19T14:26:08Z

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St. Patrick's Day 1

2008-03-17T16:26:55Z

Hooray for picture posts! The summer-ish one is from a long time ago and the first one is a
recent one (as you can see by the black hair). It was part of an animation that got fucked up, of
me blowing a kiss. lol. But ummmm anywho. Happy St. Patricks Day!!!

Since everyone else is doing it...

2008-02-03T01:47:14Z

Everyone please fill this out. If you dont usually comment, comment now. I wanna get to know you all! :O

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
A.

2) What was your dream growing up?
A.

3) What talent do you wish you had?
A.

4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
A.

5) Favorite vegetable?
A.

6) What was the last book you read?
A.

7) What zodiac sign are you?
A.

8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
A.

9) Worst Habit?
A.

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
A.

11) What is your favorite sport?
A.

12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?
A.

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
A.

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
A.

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
A.

16) Do you have any pets?
A.

17) What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly?
A.

18) What was your first impression of me? (hmmm...careful!)
A.

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
A.

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
A.

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
A.

22) What color eyes do you have?
A.

23) Ever been arrested?
A.

24) Bottle or can soda?
A.

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
A.

27) What's your favorite place to hang at?
A

28) Do you believe in ghosts?
A.

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
A.

30) Do you swear a lot?
A.

31) Biggest pet peeve?
A.

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
A.

33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
A.

35) Do you believe in God?
A.

36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
A.

Love like winter

2008-01-27T19:22:03Z

I put a new default because I like to keep my hair updated in pics (its gonna be black for awhile). So yay! Today I got my kandi in the mail
from infected_urine. I love it. I'm gonna wear some of it today if I hang out with Tony. We're supposed to go shopping in Lakewood,
but thats really far from where I live, and I just spent the whole weekend driving all over ohio. So maybe the two of us will shop in Summit
or something, becuase its closer to both of us. XD I have to call him but I forget his number. Arrgh, right now my neck is super stiff and I
have a headache. And I forgot whether or not I plugged in my hair straightener. Maybe I'll hang out with Tony another time, because I think
I'm starting to get sick. I've had an ongoing headache since friday. Sigh. I dunno what I'm doing today. :P Sorry for my whiny-ness, I'm
tired and grumpy lol.

My friends on here need to post more!!!!!

2008-01-17T17:53:31Z

Yup yup, they do. I like hearing about people's fascinating lives. :D No really, even people ranting about how
they cant get a job or how bored they are is better than no blog at all. Because I like to read. :]
Ummm so I realized my blog is really [WIDE] so I'm gonna push enter so people dont have to keep
scrolling sideways. Or maybe its just my computer that does it, but I'll do it anyway. So yay!

Umm umm what to write about. My period is over (in case the world wanted to know that lol) so I'm happy!
I'm also getting slightly manic and that's always SUPER fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Haha yea, I havent been this manic in
a looooong time lol. I want to dance! And roll in the snow naked and scream random obscenities. Good luck
helping me not get put away for it lol. But it'll be fun anyway. So yea, today I learned how to stab at people in
fencing!!! And the instructor poked me in the tummy with his foil (thats the sword thing for those who dont know),
and I flinched because I have a phobia of being touched in the tum tum. and people laughed at me for flinching.
But it was funny.  XD So I gotta toughen up to being poked at.
I'll probly do that by having someone poke me with a stick until I dont flinch. Haha its gonna be interesting.
And the girls in the class had to wear boob shields. And I felt like a viking. lol. I dont care about being poked in
the titties tho, just the tummy. Haha I'm weird.  But ummm I got to fight with people so it was fun!!!! And I made
a friend. XD Her name is Jessica and she's nice.  Weeee for nice people! I also talked to this guy but I forgot
his name because my memory sucks balls. But he said he refuses to smoke and I said good, because its
hard to quit once you start. And he said he heard.  Haha so yea, someone smarter than me. Hooray! lol.

But anywho, I gotta go because I have class in 10 minutes and if I'm late I'm gonna get beheaded!!!!!!!
Ok not really (it would be fun to watch tho, if you were other people) but yea. I'll post more random and pointless
stuff later. I just type a lot when I'm in a good mood. :O

Pictures old and new (I'm BORED)

2008-01-08T03:37:54Z

Haha I'm really bored and not ready to fall asleep yet, so here is a random picture post. Most of these havent been on myspace so yay!!! Haha I have yet to find a pic where my hair actually looks presentable. But oh well, thats life.

Oh yes, the guy in the pictures is Kyle, the girl in the christmas pic is my sister, and the kitten is Banshee.

Sigh.

2008-01-04T17:38:39Z

I miss this colour:

It was cheap and faded in like 3 days though.

But anywho, I am bored, as usual. I think I'm gonna make some food in a little bit because I'm super hungry! I might make a pattie melt because I love those. :D Anyway, my Phoebe is sitting next to me and being cute *attacks the little furball*. lol. Umm umm what else to talk about? I took a bath yesterday and it was nice. =] And today I went to the library and got a few books, because I havent read a good book in a long time. I like to eat and read, or read in the bathtub because its quiet. But anywho, Imma go get some food now before I die freom hunger!!! :O Because that would suck balls.

Me feel sick

2007-12-21T01:36:35Z

Maybe if I eat some pizza I'll feel better. Its weird: when I feel sick I have to eat hot, well-cooked food, like from a restaraunt or a pizza place. I guess its my tummy saying "stop feeding me fucking cereal and TV dinners!" lol. So yea, I ordered some pizza for myself even tho I'm practically shit broke. Oh well.

But anywho, Christmas is in 5 days *shoots self*. Its gonna suck massive balls. Sigh. I'll just force myself through it and pray that people like the shit I got them. Woo hoo. Sorry about the whiny mood today, I'm tired and its my favorite time of month (sarcasm on "favorite"). Well, Imma go eat now.

Old pics and shit

2007-12-19T19:50:57Z

I miss that gurl!!!!!

Super old.

Haha yes those are cat ears. XD

Lonely

2007-12-18T00:27:13Z

I am surrounded by people but as usual I feel lonely as fuck. Kyle called but I dont wanna hang out with him. I just wanna eat some cereal and then go to bed. Last night I was depressed so I got drunk. And I pierced my ear with a sewing needle and its kinda crooked. But oh well, its a lot better than I thought it would be, considering I did it when I was wasted. Anywho, I gotta go because there's really nothing else to write about.

Weeee!!!!

2007-12-06T17:25:00Z

Today is the last day of skewl!!!! Weeee, and guess what, I'm gonna pass my classes!!!!! This is a rare thing for me lol. But yea, yesterday was pretty fun. I hung out with my friend Sarah and we went to the Medina Rec Center and swam. It was amazing, I havent been swimming in ages. And this guy in the hot tub was hitting on me, and asking about my tattoos and stuff. He was kinda creepy though, he looked like he was in his 30s, and his face was all sunburned even though it's December. And he kept asking if I was in the navy because of my anchor tattoo, even though I kept telling him that I have the anchor because I love the sea/lake/water and nautical stuff. So yea. After the Rec, me and Sarah went to eat at Friday's and I got their nummy potato skins. XD I was SO fuckin hungry. Then after that I went home and me and my sister played Twilight Princess (which I suck at... she had to keep telling me what to do to pass the game). Then we put together part of a puzzle and after that I went to bed because I was super exhausted. And this morning I woke up late and just got to school a few minutes ago. And now I feel kinda nauseous but oh well, it'll go away. But yea, I hope I get back into BG in January because this community college isnt getting me very far. The classes here are a bit easier though, but I cant see any of my BG friends because they live so fuckin far away. So yea, I really really wanna go back there.

ps. I think I'm getting mono or something because all I wanna do anymore is sleep. It might just be my meds tho. I'm so fuckin TIRED tho!!!!!! Grr lol.

Still no shnow!!!!

2007-11-29T14:56:25Z

I'm disappointed. Ohio is bailing out on me lol. Usually there's snow around Halloween and it keeps snowing on and off thru november. But so far it's only snowed once this year. I'm sad. :P

Anywho, this weekend I might hang out with Sarah K. And we can exchange gifts. I got her a poster and some markers. I wanted the markers for myself because I like to color. But I only had money for one set. Oh well. But anywho, Kyle wants me to drive up to BG on the 14th and I said no. My car cant make many long trips anymore. It has a crappy front tire and I dont have the money to replace it. So I cant drive very much till it gets fixed. Sigh. At least I have a good excuse not to give car-less people rides now. :P

Boredom

2007-11-28T03:11:03Z

So yea I'm sitting in my room and I wanna either go to bed or play video games because I'm a little tipsy. And my sister's down here and she's eating icky stuff that smells. I'm kinda bored and disappointed that there's no rum around here except for that Tattoo stuff that tastes all sticky sweet and jager-ish. Bleh. Right now my sister petted my hair and she said it felt like straw and that it was getting thin. And I told her it was falling out. It is falling out, kinda. I dye it way too much and its all fried and junk. I might cut it all off soon, but I'm at least waiting till spring because I like how its cut right now. And there's still a little bit of green tint in it. XD Anywho, Imma go now because not much is going on and I'm outta stuff to blog about.

haha

2007-11-27T16:09:20Z

You Belong in 1964

You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too.

What Year Do You Belong In?

Its warm outside now? (and annoying rich people)

2007-11-20T15:06:21Z

Stupid Ohio. So yea, this morning I was on the way to school and the road was blocked by some commotion, so I had to find another way around. And I got hopelessly lost and ended up being super late. Ugh. At least I'm almost done with the semester. And Kyle's coming to town tomorrow, weeee! XD We're gonna have shitloads of fun. Even tho I have no idea what we're actually gonna do. But yea, I cant wait to go home now and take a super long hot bath. With lots of bubbles and candles and stuffs. My hair is kinda icky at the moment. Anywho, yesterday I hung out with Spree and we went to Medina. And we went to the pet store and there was this super bitchy woman. She was like 40-45, but she had on shitloads of bad teenage makup and her hair was all oily and spiky, resembling a wannabe-emo-mullet sorta thing. And she had this cute little girl with her and was treating the kid like shit and only thinking about herself. The girl was looking at the kitties, and the mom wanted to call her stupid overaged cheerleader friends to plan some pot smoking party or something. And the girl was like "let me look at the kittens just a little longer" and the mom was like "NO, I gotta call my fucking friends NOW!" and she grabbed the kid by the arm and pulled her outta the store. Then when me and Spree were walking out, we saw them again, and the girl was all sad looking and the mom was on a cell phone, giggling like a 12 year old and talking about sex. And she kept giving me dirty looks because I guess I pull off the teenager look better than she does, lol. But yea, it was slightly amusing. :P

Snow?

2007-11-15T15:12:45Z

Today it almost snowed. I was walking outside and it was raining, but then the rain started turning into bits of ice. And it fell like snow and the air had that snowy smell that I love. I cant wait for winter to come, its so late this year. =[ But yea, yesterday Spree and I went job hunting. We picked up an application at practically every store in the mall. So if I dont get a job I'm gonna be pissed. Because McDonald's wont even hire me. I think Cedar Point is giving me bad reviews because I walked out before my 2 week notice was up. Grrr. But anyway, today I'm handing in all my filled-out applications and hopefully making a resume because that'll help me get hired. XD Hopefully.

What wind? I'm from BG.

2007-11-06T17:39:22Z

So yea, today is super windy and its kinda snowing (as in like 3 flakes a minute). I want more SNOW!!!!!! Gaaah! lol.

But anywho, I think my journal layout is so boring but I'm too lazy to change it. No one really reads these anyway, except like 3 or 4 people. Oh well, I like having a livejournal. =] I dont like blogging too much on myspace. But anyway, umm umm I am bored! Sigh.
I just ate some deliciousness and now I wanna go to sleep or at least go home to watch movies. I kinda wanna watch Big Fish. No one I know likes that movie except for me, I guess I'm weird. But hey, to each his own. Oooh but last night I slept so GOOD! I havent slept in a bed since the night before Halloween and my bones ached like an old lady. I guess I've gotten a bit soft over the years. I used to be able to sleep on anything: concrete, grass, gravel, anything at all. Now I'm just like "gimme SOFTNESS!!!!" lol.

But yea, I gots to pee now and then go to class (help!!!). So Imma type more shit later. Yay!

Sigh.

2007-10-30T15:36:59Z

The only people I wanna hang out with right now are Spree and Kyle. I don't know why. I guess its because whenever I hang out with my other friends, they dont wanna bring me around their "group", so we end up hanging out one on one and its all awkward because they're not with their "clique" and I'm all shy and junk. I hate feeling like an outsider all the time. I thought high school was over back when, well, when high school was over. But everyone still acts like a stupid immature preteen and they dont wanna be seen with some green-haired sliced-up "psycho". Grrr.
But yea, anywho, I wanna eat but my stomach is being annoying again. And I'm broke. All I ever want to do anymore is drink and sleep, and hang with Spree and Kyle. I miss Kyle. I miss living at BG too. There's a lot of stuff I miss. I was like super manic these past few days (which prolly explains why I'm broke lol) but now I feel myself coming down. And right before Halloween too. Just peachy. At least I can drink myself senseless at the club. Sigh.

Arrrgh!

2007-10-27T15:43:23Z

So last night I went to a costume party, and it was pretty fun. They had a murder mystery game and I was one of the (innocent) suspects. My costume was a pirate. :D Weeeee it was really weird tho because it was a high school party so there was no alcohol. Not that I cared really, but I guess I've gotten too accustomed to college. lol. But yea, my hair glowed in the blacklights at the party. XD It made me happy. Unfortunately, my period had to start last night but I still had a pretty good time. If only my life would stay like this, I'd be so happy. If I could erase my entire past and sign some form that guaranteed a good life, I'd totally do it. Sigh, I do wish this week (period not included) would last forever.

Weeee

2007-10-25T13:59:26Z

So the past few days were super fun! On Tuesday, me and Spree went to the mall and I bought a mouse at the pet shop. Her name is Calypso and she's black and soooo adorable!!!! And Spree slept over and we watched the Ninth Gate. And Johnny Depp was SEXY in it!!! Then yesterday (Wednesday) we went to the mall again and went to the Painted Penguin, which is a store where you can buy ceramic objects and paint them however you want. I painted a skeleton and Spree painted a sign with a vampire on it that said "Come in for a bite". And my skeleton is neon green (UV) and its in a black coffin and its SUPER awesome. I have it hanging in my basement (bedroom) now. But yea, after painting our stuff, we went to the pet shop again and played with these tiny lil kittens and they were climbing all over me and I loved em!!!! I wanna go buy all of them, but they were like a hundred bucks each. =[ But yea. After the petshop we saw "Things we Lost in the Fire", which was a pretty good movie, but the camera was kinda skakey so I got dizzy watching it lol. And the heroin scene was scary. :O lol. But anywho, after the movie we went out to eat with Spree's mommy and we went to this restaraunt called Vhooda. Its all tiki themed and stuff. And I ate gator and it was yummy. Surprising really, I didnt think I'd have the balls to eat gator but I actually tried it. It tasted like veal kinda. Haha. But yea, afterward I took spree home and went to bed cuz it was kinda late.

Today I wanna hang out with Spree again, or maybe Melanie. I wanna carve pumpkins. XD I love carving pumpkins, I think I'll still love it when I'm old lol. But yea, I gotta go now because I have shit to do. Yippee.

Need to wirte here more!!!

2007-10-18T19:42:38Z

Not much to write though. I bought an orgasmically sexy keychain with marilyn manson's face on it. It came in a set with a postcard and a pin and a bumper sticker, it was fucking amazing!!! So yea. Other than that, not much going on in life right now.

Fucked up nightmares

2007-10-15T15:27:32Z

Ok, so I had two really bizarre dreams last night...

The first dream was creepy because it was about Jason and me and it was really long. The main part of the dream was about me and him, and we were driving in mine car, when all of a sudden he looked in the rearview mirror and got really upset. I pulled into a random parking lot and asked him what was wrong. He told me that his uncle was in the car behind us, and when I asked him why it upset him, he told me that his uncle had molested him as a child (I dont think this is true in real life, but in the dream it was, and he started panicking). I stopped the car and tried to calm him down. But his uncle pulled up behind us and got outta the car and talked to jason, acting all nice but seeming creepy deep down. And I jumped between them and told the asshole uncle to fuck off and leave Jason alone. (we were both standing in the parking lot now, and the uncle had another guy with him). Suddenly, all these cops just randomly came into the parking lot and arrested the four of us. We were marched off to the station/jail and put in a chain gang line with some other people. Then we sat at this long table in the police station and the cops took me off the chain and gave me one of those ankle bracelet thingies, but everyone else was still tied together. I had to sit on the opposite side of the table, and now there were these little kids there for some reason. And oddly enough, Jason started being really nice to his creepy uncle,. and the uncle was nice back. They were like the best of buddies, and they started turning against me. They said the cops were sending everyone to Toledo, except for me. And they told me that if the Toledo people saw me, they'd throw me into a deep pit (???) so I had to stay in Cleveland and be on probation (even though I didnt do anything wrong in the dream). And then I woke up and it was weird.

In my other dream, I had the McDonalds logo tattooed on my foot for some reason, and I was desperately looking for some other tattoo to get to cover it up. In the dream I was a really shitty artist, but I was trying to draw a design of a skeleton/reaper holding an hourglass that would cover my entire foot and hide the stupid McDonalds tattoo. I never got it done though. It was really sad lol.